Ghana - Day 4

Day 4

WARNING!!!  TODAY’S BLOG IS FULL OF RUN ON SENTENCES AND PROBABLY JUMPS AROUND A BIT, OR THE STORY IS PROBABLY TOO LONG THAT YOU MAY GET BORED AND WISH I WOULD JUST GET TO THE POINT.  THIS IS ALL DUE TO JASON TAKING THE DAY OFF FROM BLOGGING AND HAS GUILTED ME INTO TO FILLING IN FOR HIM.  SO BARE WITH ME AND HE WILL BE BACK FOR DAY 5…AND HOPEFULLY THE REST OF THE DAYS TO COME. :-)

One thing that I have noticed while being here in Ghana is that time moves much slower than it does at home.  Don’t get me wrong, we are loving it here and enjoying every minute, but the days last forever!!  I would give anything for our days at home to last longer.  I think it’s because of their way of life here.  Everything is very laid back and no one is in a hurry to get anywhere.  No rushing around. 

Today was a good day.  We woke up and had some breakfast (boiled eggs, bread with butter and Jam, pineapple, and fresh squeezed orange juice).  We caught a taxi over to the home where the kids are staying.  We are greeted the same every time we come.  M and A run to us and about tackle us to the ground!  After a bit of swinging and hanging on mom and dad and hugs, they ask, “mommy…daddy are we going to the hotel?”  They love getting us away so that they don’t have to share us with the other kids.

But today we had plans to meet with our sweet friend Muna. As we waited for Muna we played with the children and talked with our friends Monica and Kit.

Muna came after a bit and we headed out with M and A to go to deliver a Welcome Bag, and a letter to other children in other homes.  As we were on our way to the first home where E lived we traveled down dirt roads about 20 minutes.  These dirt roads were very washed out from all the rains they have had over the past months.  We felt a lot like we were riding somewhere up on a mountain four-wheeler road back at home.  Bouncing around in the back seat and praying that his car would make it to the homes we were heading to.  The scenery was something I will never forget.  The homes, the children playing, the clothing hung to dry on the clothes lines from a hard days work of loving moms.  Women and children walking the streets with MASS amounts of items upon their heads selling, or bringing home items from market.  We saw goats and chickens roaming and garbage being burned on the streets or in the courtyards of their homes.  The people here are happy and hard working.  The children are busy with chores or making their own fun in the yard, no toys to be found other than the ones that they have made out of sticks and leaves, or old tires.   It’s something we wish we’d see more of at our home.  It’s obvious many times in America we put too much emphasis on ‘things’ rather than ‘time’.

As we reached the foster home of E we were greeted by the woman who was taking care of the children there.  The children stood in the back watching as we entered the home.  It was a very nice home, well kept and clean.  The children didn’t run to us but watched us cautiously.  As E came into the room we greeted him with a BIG hug and told him we had a letter from his Mommy and Daddy. (E appears to be about 5 or 6 years old).   His eyes lit up and the biggest smile came across his face.  You could tell that he was more than excited to get things started even though he remained still.  As we knelt down beside him at the table I read him his sweet letter as his eyes were fixed on the pictures of his family.  As I pointed to the pictures and asked him who these people were her smiled and said “my family, my sister, my brothers, and my mommy and my daddy”.   It was a sweet moment for me as I could feel the love that this boy had for his family and how anxious he was to see them.  Next he showed us his room.  He was proud of his room (as many kids are in Ghana, I have noticed that with M and A that they want to see their beds whenever they can).  E went to his dresser and in the pile of neatly folded laundry he pulled out his pillowcase and laid it perfectly at the top of his mattress.  This took him time because he wanted it to be perfectly straight for the picture.  When he finished, he gave a huge smile for what he had done.  It was such a nice visit.

Next we were off to visit Paul’s home to deliver a Welcome Bag to Paul for one of his other homes in another region way to the north. 

We were warmly greeted by Paul and were immediately life long friends.  As we entered, the children were eating at the table just outside the house.  They all watched us and said hello, but everyone stayed at the table to finish their meal.  We sat and talked with Paul and told him about our good friends who have adopted children from his home.  We conveyed how grateful they are for him and how well the kids are doing.  He was happy to hear about it.  The children soon gathered at our feet with coloring pages and colored pencils.  As we talked they quietly colored on the floor.  Paul talked of how blessed they have been and how sweet his children are.  Talked about the schooling and the needs of the children.  They have so little but they are always taken care of and their needs are always met because of their faith the God is watching over them and loves them.  This home was so full of love and you could definitely feel the Spirit here.  Paul is another great man with a BIG heart for the things that matter most to our Father in Heaven.  This seems to be a common theme for the orphanages we’ve visited.

By the time we left M and A (and daddy) were starving!!!  We’ve noticed they become very quiet and say nothing when they are hungry.  We had brought snacks for them until we could stop for some food.  M and been telling us since the day we arrived she would love to have some Kankee (fish with pepper sauce and a ball of dough made from Maize) so we stopped at one of the street vendors and got the kids some Kankee.  They instantly livened up!!!  We took it back to the hotel and had lunch in the courtyard.  They devoured it. ……head and all!!  They would take a small amount of dough and dip it into the pepper sauce and then a piece of the fish with it and eat.  Jason had tried some of this pepper sauce and his eyes began to water, nose running and sweat pouring from his head!!!  IT WAS HOT!!!  M and A didn’t even think anything of it and ate it as if it were as hot as whip cream.  AMAZING!!!  The hotter the better for them!  Jalapeños are tasteless compared!!

 

We decided that we would head over to the home and take the sock puppets to the children that we had made.  (If you remember from a previous blog, some dear friends and their families came over on a Monday night and we made over 80 sock puppets for all of the kids).  M and A were able to call all of the children out into the courtyard to come and see what we had brought for them.  M and A showed them what they were and began to hand them out to their friends as Jason was pretending to talk to the children with his sock puppet (and yes, McCall – He did ask them if they would like a ‘hotdog’).  They all giggled.  Pretty soon they were all talking n their puppet voices, however they soon decided that they would also be fun to put on their feet and dance around!!  LOVED IT!!  M had her sock puppets pulled all the way to the top of her legs like tights and A had 2 on his hands and 2 on his feet. 

There were enough puppet for all of them to have two.  How A ended up with four????  I think his Daddy had something to do with that.  Thank you to all of our friends and the kids who made these, they loved them and played with them for hours.  I took lots of pictures and video for you to all see when we get home.    

We got back to the hotel and just relaxed, they had their bath (so funny to watch them splash around) and read books to them, looked at videos and pictures of the kids at home playing in the snow at the cabin, swimming, sledding, etc, and colored.   

I am loving spending this time with them and getting to know them.  It has been a blessing to be here and to watch them, study their every movement 

and hear the sound of their little voices.  To watch them interact with the other kids and each other.  To be with them and see them experience things they have never experienced as their eyes light up with excitement.  To hug them when they get hurt and hold them when they are crying.  It has been an amazing four days!!  I have missed my children at home so much my heart aches but my heart also aches at the thought of leaving the children I have here in Ghana as well.  The tug of war, I am sure, will continue until the day we bring them home.

We are continuing to pray that our court day will come soon.  The lady that is suppose to be signing our documents is back home and could possibly sign today (fingers crossed) and we could go to court, if she doesn’t sign to day then we will have to wait until Thursday or Friday for her to sign due to a holiday.

OK, I’m back (Jason).  Thank you Brandie for helping out.  I was super tired last night and had a bit of writer’s cramp – actually, I just didn’t want to write.  =-)

Some observations I’m starting to see about our kids here:

1. 1.   Neither one of them like to share mommy or daddy.  Today we had a huge pouting session with A because Luke came over and sat on my lap.  A immediately went limp, stuck out his bottom lip, and looked at the ground.  He wouldn’t talk to, look at, or even respond to anyone.  I finally started to figure out what he was upset about so I picked him up and walked to a quite part of the courtyard.  I told him that HE was the one we loved, HE was the one that was coming home with us, and that HE was our favorite boy there.  I told him that some of the other kids want hugs too but that doesn’t mean they’re coming home with us or that we love them more.  We’ll ALWAYS love him the most.  He slowly started to understand and come out of his pouting trance.
2. 2.     These kids have a VERY DEFINED schedule to which if we don’t follow – there will be consequenses!  It’s taken us a couple of days to figure out some of these things, but today we figured out that eating time is 8:00, noon, and 5:00 – and if we don’t have food in their bellies at that time, we’ll be in ‘recovery mode’ for a while.  Their little bodies are so used to being fed at a specific time that their energy is conserved for the entire time between meals.  They don’t have snacks between meals so they need the energy.  Today we didn’t get them lunch until nearly 3:00 because we were out with Muna.  Both of the kids started to shut down after lunch – I started to know how they felt!  I was starving just the same!!  This fat man can only have so much rice!! =-)
3. 3.     These kids are just like all other kids.  We had our first ‘blow up’ between them today.  It started because one was getting more attention from mommy than the other.  The end result was torn coloring books thrown across the room, Brandie in the middle like a MMA referee – one arm on each kid completely spread apart – while they yelled in Ewe at each other.  In the end, they both got time out and had to apologize to each other.  Brandie did an excellent job sitting both of them down independently after all the crying and drama had stopped.  She told them we were a family and we don’t act like that with each other.  It was important for them both to know that even though she’ll get after them or scold them that we’ll always still love them.  She told them even though she got after them and put them in time out, it didn’t mean she was upset with them or didn’t love them.  It was great parenting in my opinion.  Poor M just sat and bawled afterwards.  I have a feeling some of that was because she felt like she’d shown us a side of herself and was afraid we wouldn’t ‘like’ her anymore.
4. 4.     We’re making some major strides in the ‘trusting’ department.  The first three days there were several pouting sessions, which would last for several minutes (some lasted nearly an hour).  Today we only had one, which only lasted a few minutes.  It is my belief (and I’m no expert here – this is just fatherly intuition) the kids are starting to realize they don’t need to act up in order to get our attention or affection.  I believe they’re starting to understand how unconditional love feels and actually BELIEVE that we’ll always have it for them.  Whatever it is, there is definitely progress. (Anita – you’re the pro here – please tell me if you think that’s the case)
5. 5.     M and Brin are TRUE sisters.  They have all of the same qualities.  In fact, if their skin wasn’t just a few shades different I’d think they were twins!!  M loves to come to the hotel and go through all her clothes.  She puts one outfit on (complete with matching hair bows) then applies ample lip-gloss – then it’s over to the mirror to dance and prance – just to see how she looks.  Afterwards it’s back to the suitcase to change and start the whole charade all over again.  M has a TON of drama – just like Brinley.  They both have good drama (full of fun emotion, ‘yucking up’ things just to get someone to laugh, a little of the Hollywood routine with simple tasks, etc) and bad drama (you don’t like me!!, throw big fits over little things, etc).  The similarities are even more striking than what we’d thought before we came.  I’m quite sure these two girls together under one roof are going to drive me to drink!!

Some things I’ve learned about Ghana:

• 1.     Holy “hotter-than-Hell” Batman!!  Listen, I love a good Mexican dish.  And I even can eat habanera salsa every once in a while without too much lower GI feedback.  But the stuff I ate today would peel the barnacles off a sea vessel!  Dear lord I’ve never tasted anything so hot in my life.  I ordered Banku with Tilapia (a dish where the whole fish – yes, head, guts and all – are cooked in a semi-spicy sauce and then served with Pepe – that’s the fire of death sauce – and a ball of dough made from Cassava and maize).  The dough, fish, and sauce was actually quite tasty – but that Pepe was down right punishment.  I’m sure it’ll be the ‘gift that keeps on giving’, if you know what I mean.

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• 2.     Ghanaians are some of the friendliest people in the world.  We have yet to meet one person who hasn’t greeted us with a smile and said hello.  Even some of the meanest, ugliest people we’ve seen on the street will smile and say hello, it’s amazing.  They are so kind and polite.  I’m growing to love the older boys in the home too.  Dominic and Richard have been our personal guide and driver.  We’ve spent quite a bit of time with them both at meals and in the car with them.  They are some of the most polite and nice people I’ve ever met.  They all sincerely want to better themselves (each are attending or will attend technical school to learn a vocation) this year.  Richard is studying to become an auto technician).  I can’t say enough good about these older boys.

A couple other things we saw today that were fun.  We watched the older boys set up the barbershop in the courtyard for the younger boys.  Richard, Dominic, and Job were the barbers and would go round up a little boy, one-by-one to get their hair cut.  I was especially interested in this since I’ve never seen it done before. I was fascinated how they cut the little boy’s hair.  They’d take a rat-tailed comb and then lay a strait edge razor flat on the top.  They’d quickly move the comb with short motions and cut the hair evenly as they went.  Some of the boys got the ‘Tele Sevalis” cut (completely bald) because they had lingering issues with ringworm.

The last thing was a follow up to Richard’s new flip-flops.  While we were out with Richard I had him take us to market for some new shoes.  We found some black ones just his size – they cost me a whopping 1 Cedi, 50 Pesewas (which is equivalent to about one dollar).  We took them back to the home in a black bag.  When we got back to the home I went over and sat under the mango tree to start handing out puppets.  After all the puppets were handed out I called for Richard to come over.  As he approached I handed him his new flip-flops and told him, “I’d made you a promise.  Here’s your new shoes.”  The look on that sweet boys face was something that will forever be burned into my memory.  I don’t think the shoes were the part that excited him the most – I think it was that someone had remembered something specifically just for HIM.  Oh, the things we take for granted. 

Thank you Father for these tender teaching moments!

Until tomorrow.

Ghana - Day 2 & 3

Ghana Day 2 

We didn’t get back to the room until late last night and when we did finally get in we made some phone calls to home – so the blog post for yesterday didn’t get done.  I’m going to combine day 2 and 3 so I can get caught up.

Saturday morning we headed back to the home for another day of excitement!!  Again we were greeted by all of the children.  It’s hard to believe they’re still excited to see us after spending a whole day with them! :-)

Most of the day is spent sitting in the courtyard watching the kids play, playing with the kids, visiting with others at the home.  I’m amazed at the need of these kids.  They are fed, clothed, bathed twice daily by the home Aunties – but with so many children to tend to there just isn’t enough time in the day to give each the attention they need and want so badly.  Every one of them just wants to be loved and to have a family.  There are two boys in particular that my heart bleeds for – Richard is 10 and Peters is 9.  Both are such sweet boys – so helpful and kind, and both are absolutely hilarious!  Richard today was walking around and I noticed he had a slight limp.  I walked over to him and noticed there wasn’t anything physically wrong with him, but he’d blown out a flip-flop.  They were his only shoes and so he was trying to keep them together as long as he could.  It was hard for me to imagine that something so small, so insignificant to us as a $2 flip-flop was the boy’s only possession in the world that was “his” and no-one else’s.

I called Richard to me and asked him to let me see his shoe.  I thought maybe I could rig it so that he could get a few more miles out of them…but no, it was completely ruined.  I told him, “Richard, would you like new ‘slippers’ (that’s what they call them here)?”  His face brimmed with excitement when I told him we’d go to the market tomorrow and buy him some new ones.  Such a simple thing – but to him it made his day.  Several times throughout the day he’d stop me and ask if I was going to market for him.  One time, right before we left for the night he stopped me and said, “Thank you Daddy.  You’ve been good to me.”  It broke my heart.  This child has no idea what love feels like, but his soul tells him it’s something he longs for.  That’s one promise I will not break!  I’ll be buying flip-flops in the market tomorrow!

About two o’clock in the afternoon I was feeling like a monkey in a very small cage – a man can only take so much grabbing, rubbing, and being climbed on for so long before he starts to go a little crazy!  We decided the four of us were comfortable enough with each other to take our first little adventure.  We decided to go out to First Junction (a crazy intersection with little market stores) to look for a Sprite for the kids (plus, daddy was in serious need of some caffeine).  We took our new friend Dominic (one of the older boys at the home with us) for interpretation, protection, and travel guide…all of which he did quite well.  It was so funny to see the kids at the store.  At the home they were all about getting a Sprite, but when we arrived at the market and stood in front of the glass refrigerator full of Sprite – they suddenly couldn’t make up there minds.  In the end, orange juice won out. 

We’ve noticed some vast differences between these kids and the others at home.  At home, if you have a soda or something ‘special’ it usually takes an act of Congress for that child to share with another sibling.  Here, when the kids arrived back at the home they immediately wanted all their ‘siblings’ to taste the sweet juice.  Agbesi would fill his drink cap full and give a cap full to each of his little buddies – making sure none got more than the other.  Such a great thing about this culture....even though each child has something ‘special’ they’re very willing to the use by another (usually).  :-)

Next we had lunch.  We eat the same meals as the children.  Today it was boiled black-eyed peas with a little ground Cassava on top.  It actually pretty hardy for how small the portions were and the taste was fairly bland.  Some of the American mom’s (I won’t mention names Brandie and Monica!!) decided they’d fake that they’d eaten their whole plates by convincing their little sons to come into the adult eating area and shovel spoonful after spoonful into their little mouths until the plate was clean – I’m not sure who was more pleased, the boys or their mommy.

Right after lunch the little kids are laid down for rest time from 1 to 3.  I’ve quickly realized this ‘rest time’ is not at all for the children…it’s for the adults!!  Very few of the kids actually sleep, but they’re required to stay in their room and be quite.  Today, however, there was one very sneaky little boy who didn’t want to stay in his bed.  Brandie and I were down visiting with the other adults.  Mighty was sitting on my lap.  I was talking when all of the sudden I looked over and saw Agbesi sneaking around the end of the table making headway for his mom (because he knew she is a sucker for those big brown eyes)!  When I asked him what he was doing he just gave me a great big smile as he climbed up onto Brandie’s lap.

That evening was very tough on the kids.  It was the first full day they’d gotten to spend with us and actually feel what love is like.  They were held, hugged, kissed on, and told numerous times how much they were loved by both Brandie and I.  It was obvious it was something they weren’t familiar with, but something they wanted more than anything.  At dark (around 6:30 or 7:00) Agbesi was sitting on my lap in the play area.  His eyes were getting heavy (since the little sneak didn’t have a nap) and before I knew it he was dozing in and out of sleep.  My first reaction was, “I’ve gotta get this kid in his bed so I don’t get pee’d on (like I did the very first day with the very FIRST kid I sat on my lap!).”  But then I thought that this boy has probably never had the opportunity to fall asleep in someone’s arms…so I just sat there hugging and holding until it was bedtime for all the kids (8:00).  At that point we talked with Mighty and Agbesi about how we couldn’t stay at the hotel together until after court…that they would need to sleep there at the home and we would come back first thing in the morning to stay again.  Mighty immediately shut down.  She’s a pouter, so if she doesn’t get what she wants the lip comes out, head goes down, and eyes stay fixed on the floor.  There’s nothing you can say or do to get her to snap out of it.  So Brandie in all of her wisdom said, “Mighty, when you’re ready to talk about it…I’ll be right over there” and then distanced herself.  After a few minutes Mighty slowly came over and told her she didn’t want us to leave…except this time with actual tears.  Agbesi did a little better – he was tired enough that he just laid quietly on my shoulder while I walked him into his room.  As I went to lift him up to his bed and under the mosquito net he started bawling.  I knew he was having the same issues as Mighty so I quietly took him back outside the room.  I told him I PROMISED we’d be back first thing in the morning…and to prove it, I put the bracelet Brody made for me around his ankle and told him I’d be back in the morning to get it.  This seemed to satisfy some of his anxieties and he managed to go to bed.  It was a very tough night on both of us.  Brandie actually had to go lay next to Mighty before she’d stay in bed.  Their little souls long for love so it’s only natural that when they feel it’s warming effects they have a tough time wanting to let go.  In the end, they survived – and actually learned that we really weren’t leaving them and that we’d be back.

Day 3

Today was Sunday.  We were anxious to attend services with the kids and watch how they worship.  It really was a rare treat.  Although their services are quite a bit more lively and loud than the services we’re used to, they were every bit as sincere and full as love for the Savior.  The older boys conducted the services.  They opened with a group prayer followed by several songs that were both known by the kids and some they just taught them today.  I realized today that even though we worship in different ways, that there is a real beauty in the manner these kids sing praises to God.  I know now why I’ve heard some people say “you don’t know heaven until you’ve heard African children sing.”  There is truth in that.  Next Sunday I’ll catch it all on video so I’ll have something to always reflect on.

After church there was a closing announcement.  Pastor John asked the older boys to help him eradicate the rats that have decided to make their home in the kitchen.  Monica and I had seen one the night before poking its head out of the door (that was right before a giant man eating bat swooped down and tried to decapitate Monica – it was really a fruit bat, but it was still as big as a dang house cat!).  The energy level in the house surged as several man-sized boys headed to the kitchen on their big African rate safari!  First came out the stove into the courtyard.  John shook the oven and the rat of the game entered the ring.  I’ve never seen such a rowdy game of field hockey in my life!  Rat after rat came out of the oven and cabinets the boys brought out and each one that came out was quickly introduced into the gauntlet of sticks and feet flying down from every which way.  Even some of the smaller kids joined in on the fun.  We all laughed and laughed…except for the girls (the big girls) who all jumped up on the half wall and screamed!!  It really was a fun site to see.

After the rat circus act came to a close I went and asked Pastor John for permission to take the children with us to the hotel.  As I entered his room I could see something was troubling him.  When I asked what was bothering him he told me he was trying to figure out the food situation.  I probed a little more and realized the home was out of food.  They’d been to market two days ago and spent 280 Cedi (about $200 US) on supplies, but all of that food was now gone – and they had over 45 little hungry mouths that at any moment would start to ask for food.  John had reason to feel troubled.  I realized then what a tremendous amount of stress this man must constantly feel.  What a responsibility to keep food in the bellies of all these sweet children.  Complicating John’s dilemma was all of the current guests at the house that must be fed.  John has some of his family there helping with their newly born baby, there are biological family of the children that were brought down to meet with Social Welfare and haven’t been able to make it home yet, and then there are the American parents staying at the home.  All counted there are currently just over 60 mouths that need fed 3 times a day.  A tremendous load on any person.  I admire John and his ability to manage as well as he does.  But this day the weight was showing.  Luckily I had just that morning grabbed some money from the hotel room.  I asked John if he’d like to go to market to buy food.  Off we went to market.  I REALLY wish I had taken my camera.  It was the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  I felt like I was watching a real-life National Geographic documentary happen right before my eyes!  Hundreds of little stands lined both sides of a little dirt road.  Anything you wanted to buy was there: rice, beans, fresh vegetables, coal, fish, ice cream, cooked foods (like Banku) and about anything else you can think of!  What a cool experience!  I’ll for sure go back with my camera the next time....and of course, I thanked Father that we were able to put food in the bellies of some of His children.

After we returned from the market we went upstairs with some of the kids.  We were visiting with the kids alone in Monica, Kit, and Rachel's room before lunch.  When we left the room Brandie saw Peter standing by the door.  He'd been there for countless minutes listening to the giggling, talking, and 'family time' happening on the other side of the door.  Brandie could see the look in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her leg.  She bent down and gave him a big hug.  While embraced Peter looked at Brandie and said, "Mommy, I want a family."  Brandie said, "You're mommy and daddy are coming soon."  He shook his head, "I have no mommy and daddy."  "I know God will bring you a family soon.  You just need to have faith that a family will come for you soon."  My heart aches for this little man.  He has one of the best personalities in the home and the absolute biggest smile around.  The thought of him standing outside that room listening to the other kids play with there families and wondering if he'll ever have that joy - it tears me apart!  We promised Peter we would pray for his family to come soon.  I know God loves this little boy and will honor the prayers of his children.  Please pray with us that Peter can find a family soon!

Brandie and I decided it would be best to take M & A back to our hotel.  It was such a treat to be alone.  Not because we didn’t want to be around the others, but this was the first time we could concentrate our attention on just these two.  They were so funny to watch as they explored things they’d never seen!  Agbesi had to use the bathroom (make wee-wee as he says).  After he was done he came out and asked for water.  We poured him a glass of bottled water and he turned to head back into the bathroom – just then I realized what he was doing.  I caught him quickly and took him back into the bathroom to show him where the lever on the toilet was and what it did.  He just laughed like it was the coolest thing ever! 

Next they saw the bathtub.  Both of them came out asking if they could bath.  Brandie took them both in and they were both stripped down before she could even get the water running.  Neither of them had ever been in a tub before and it was so fun to watch them play together in the water. Even though Brandie wasn’t IN the tub with them…she still LOOKED like she was after they all came out!

Next were the clothes.  You’d have thought they were having an epileptic spasm the way they ran around the room!  Brandie would give them a shirt and they’d holler, “I luff eet!” or just giggle as they took it over to their pile.  They were so funny to watch as they put on shorts and shirts and sweaters and pajamas and socks……So fun to watch.

Once that mess had been accomplished they were off to the ‘biscuits’ in my special check-on bag.  That’s where I draw the line!!!  I told them I didn’t mind sharing but if they didn’t ask I’d bite off their fingers!  J  Only kidding, I’d really only say that to the kids at home because they wouldn’t actually BELIEVE me!  We’d heard from other parents who’d visited about the kids having this gorging mentality so we made sure not to have a ton of sweets (i.e. candy, etc).  Instead we had jerky, granola bars, fruit snacks, Cliff Bars, and other items that provided at least some nutrients.  It was a hoot to watch them ‘test’ everything first before they committed to eating it.  We quickly found out that Mighty doesn’t like the jerky, grape soda, or fruit rollups.  Her nose quickly wrinkles up to show her disapproval.  Agbesi is a little less discriminating.  He ate a little of everything except for the raisins in the trail mix.

These kids have been hungry for so long its natural for them to want to hoard.  We were leaving the hotel room to meet John and Dominic at the restaurant to eat when I noticed Agbesi headed for the snack bag.  He said, “Daddy, I’m hungry.”  I told him we were headed for dinner and would be eating within minutes.  He still wanted something so I gave him a Cliff Bar and told him to hold it until after dinner.  When I went to put it in his pockets I noticed two other items he’d been storing from earlier.  How truly blessed we are to never have felt the hunger these children have had to deal with!

Dinner was fun as well.  I don’t know if you remember the old 80’s movie Splash with Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks (I think) where she was a mermaid and turns into a human.  Remember the first time he took her out to eat and she didn’t know how to use any of the utensils?  Yeah, well, that’s what tonight was like.  Mighty gave it a valiant effort for about five minutes…until her stomach decided it was time to EAT instead of keep trying.  We all ordered fried rice and chicken, which was really good.  The chicken was cooked over a bar-b que and had a slightly spicy crunchy outside.  The rice was tender and good.  The portions were HUGE (Brandie and I could have shared a plate). Both kids ate until they couldn’t eat any more.  Mighty ate everything on the chicken including the marrow in the bones!

Once again it was difficult to leave them tonight.  Agbesi took it a little harder than Mighty – mainly because Mighty was already 90 percent asleep when John and Dominic dropped us off at the hotel.  Agbesi got real quite and didn’t look up.  He likes being with us and we like having them around too.  It’s hard to see them go back over there…but hopefully it won’t be too much longer and we’ll get to have them with us the whole time.  I know we’re looking forward to it.

Talk with you tomorrow!

Ghana - Day 1

Day 1

We started our travels by leaving Boise at 1:00 Thursday.  We were so excited that all four of our check on bags were exactly 50 pounds or less!  You’d never imagine how difficult it is to pack nearly two years worth of donations into four small bags.   Our first connection flight in Chicago to Washington DC caused a little bit of an issue.  Brandie and I each had two carry-ons which we’d packed the important items so if our checked on luggage was lost we’d still be able to survive (things like our clothes, clothes/gifts for the kids, and small gifts for the caretakers).  When Brandie went to carry on her second bag the United guy told her it was too big and made her check it on.  We were holding up the line so Brandie quickly started throwing as much into the other bag as possible, but of course it wouldn’t all fit into one bag.  Once we loaded onto the plane Brandie realized that over half our cash was in the soft-sided bag she just checked!  We said a quick prayer that all would arrive safely.  One of the MOST important carry-on bags I would NOT allow them to take was this! 

We landed in Ghana at 1:20pm Friday afternoon.  It was overcast which was a bummer because we didn’t get to see the terrain from the air.  Once on the ground Brandie and I started making wagers on whether all five bags would actually arrive.  Luckily, all of our luggage arrived.  We made it through customs and immigration without a hitch and were pleased to see the sign “Oswalds – AAI” held by Joha (our Power of Attorney) as soon as we left the airport.  Joha is a gracious host – loading us into his car, taking us for a quick tour around, saving us from all the parking lot peddlers, and even going to market to buy our cell phone.  Such a great guy.

Our first experience with African traffic – HOLY COW!  These people are CRAZY on the roads.  There are no ‘rules’ I could tell of: no yellow lines, no stop lights, no right-of-way, and I saw only ONE stop sign the whole ride to the orphanage (approx 15 Km from the airport).  I knew I was a little nervous on the ride but didn’t really realize how stressed until we stopped at the hotel and my fingers left a dent in the handle of Joha’s door!  :-)

Our room is spacious and clean and has all the amenities of home: A/C, a fridge, and a hot water shower (pretty rare in Ghana).  It has a king bed and a twin bed – neither have blankets or a top sheet (which we didn’t realize until we went to bed – Ghanaians don’t sleep with anything other than a bottom sheet – it’s not needed because of how hot it is).  Here are some photos of the hotel and our room.

On the ride from the airport to the hotel Joha asked if we’d like to go to the home.  Of course we did, but he also mentioned that Agbesi’s mom and Mighty’s auntie were still at the home and we were worried about making them feel uncomfortable or causing any emotional confusion for the kids (Pastor John had brought them into town to meet with the Accra social welfare officials prior to our court.  The intent was to take them back out to the village yesterday, but John’s car had a little accident and he wasn’t able to get them back).  We told Joha we’d LOVE to head right to the home, but we’d leave it up to his and John’s discression as to what would be best.  Joha called John and they both agreed it would be good for us to come right over – the kids had been clamoring to see us and they thought it would be good for the biological families to meet us as well.  We were understandably nervous about that since Anita had cautioned us about meeting the bio families prior to court, but we trusted Joha and John’s judgment.  Once we dropped off the bags at the hotel we headed over to he home to see our new little kids.

The ride over was only about 10 minutes, but it seemed like an hour.  We were both anxious with nearly two years of wondering what this day would be like.  Would they like us?  Would it be awkward or ‘forced’?  Would they have high expectations that we wouldn’t be able to meet?  All reasonable questions for something so important and eternal as this.

As we walked through the gate into the dirt courtyard we could see a couple children playing.  When they heard the gate creak they turned, looked our way, yelled and took off running our way.  Their yell had alerted the others and from around the corner of the building came the crowd of excited children, a couple of the caretakers, and other American moms currently at the house (Monica, who was our lifesaver helping us set up our hotel room and being our liaison with the kids for the last week, and Rachel, our newest friend).  As the crowd rushed towards us one little yell stood out, “Mommy!”  As we directed our view to the voice we could see our beautiful Mighty rushing toward Brandie arms wide open.  She threw herself into Brandie’s waiting arms and they hugged and hugged.  I continued to scan looking for our little boy and finally saw him cautiously approaching with a friend from the left.  I knelt down, opened my arms, warmly smiled and said, “Hi, little buddy.”  He immediately rushed toward me and with a big hug said, “Hi Daddy.”

I don’t have the words to describe the emotions at that moment…it just felt – right.   I couldn’t help but think of the words of a prayer a dear friend offered in our home the night before we left.  He said, “Father, help these parents and children to immediately bond and know that this is ‘right’.”  I know at that moment a caring Father had answered the prayer of a righteous prayer and the months of yearning of two anxious parents.  There was absolutely no awkwardness, no nervousness, or uncomfortable situations.  We felt immediately accepted by everyone there, but most importantly accepted by two little hearts that were most important to us there.

We spent the next hour sitting in the courtyard visiting with the kids.  Agbesi was so excited to show us his picture book we’d sent. Pictures had been moved around and some of the pages were a little tattered – no doubt by the countless times little fingers had flipped back and forth through those pages.  We went through each picture as I described to him who everyone was and what they were doing.  When we were done he said, “Again!”

As we sat under the big tree in the courtyard talking with and holding the kids I noticed two lady caretakers who’d come out of the house and were watching from a distance.  They watched for 15 minutes or so and at one point our eyes met.  I waved and said hi, which is apparently what they’d been waiting for before they came over.  They approached us tried to greet us – but it was obvious neither spoke English very well.  I introduced Brandie and myself and when I asked their name the younger looking of the two said, “I’m Dogbeda”, pointed to Mighty and said, “mama”.  At that point Brandie immediately shot out of her chair realizing these two women were not caretakers of the home but the biological mother/auntie of our two precious children.  We all embraced for a number of seconds then I quickly pulled up two more chairs and motioned for them to sit.  Brandie hugged both of them again and told them how much we loved both of them.  I Love You is a universal phrase – they understood exactly what we were saying.

We sat and had a broken conversation – intermittently interpreted by Mighty when she wasn’t running all over the courtyard taking pictures with Brandie’s camera!  J  Luckily, Brandie hadn’t deleted photos of the house and the kids from before we’d left.  The mothers loved to see where their babies would be going and what their new siblings looked like.  They asked questions, pointed at things, and chatted speedily in their Ewe language.  It was such a great experience.  Something that honestly I’d been afraid of for a while is now something that I’ll fondly remember for years to come.

The rest of the night was spent watching all of the children have an unorganized dance party in the main parlor of the house.  These kids are so fun to watch.  Pure God-given, simple happiness filled the room as they danced and giggled around the room.  It seemed so surreal to be there in the very room watching these kids that we’ve seen only on computer screens for the last two years.  Quietly, I thanked God in heaven for granting me this rare opportunity and making it all – ‘right’.

As the night quickly closed in for bedtime, we knew it wouldn’t be appropriate to take the kids with us while their bio families were there…it would just not feel right.  So we explained to M & A that we would tuck them into bed and that we’d be back in the morning to spend more time with them.  Mighty said, “Daddy, I don’t want you to go.”  I took off the bracelet Brody had made for me, we put it around her ankle and I promised her we’d be back tomorrow.  Before we left however, I managed to catch Pastor John in the hallway and told him we had a little gift for M & A’s mothers and asked him if would be appropriate to give them it before court.  He told us of course it would be and that it would be appreciated.  I went back into the room and Brandie, the kids and I gave each of the moms a little heart-shaped locket with the words “I am a child of God” inscribed on the front and a picture of their little one on the inside.  As we presented these little gifts to the moms there was a beautiful spirit that filled the room.  Each mom gave Brandie a warm embrace and expressed deep gratitude for the little memory.  We hugged them both and said our good-byes as they went off to bed.  We took M & A up to bed, tucked them into their beds under the mosquito nets, kissed them goodnight and told them we’d be back in the morning.

There really are no words to aptly describe the feelings of my heart.  Comfortable…or prepared, or maybe even sacred, but none of those really wholly encompass everything I’ve felt this day.  I guess in the end if I had to summarize today’s experience with one word it would be – as my good friend Wayne prayed for – right.

See you tomorrow! 

PS - We're not allowed to post pictures of the kids until after court.  Soooo, once that happens (hopefully early next week) we'll be posting many pictures.

20 Months of Waiting - And We're Off!!!

It's amazing to me how the pain and anxiousness of 20 long months of waiting can be nearly erased by a little phone call.

We started this journey on January 22, 2010 - that's 576  Days   -- or --   82  Weeks and  2  Days ago.

Our dossier arrived in Ghana on march 21, 2011 - that's 154  Days   -- or --   22  Weeks ago exactly.

On Wednesday we got the call we'd been waiting for all this time - it's time to go to court and meet our kids! We booked our tickets yesterday and are starting our travels on Thursday at 1:05pm.  We'll arrive in Accra, Ghana on Friday at 1:30pm.  We have return flights booked on September 9th with an option to move it back if needed.

To add to the fun - we were able to speak with the kids early this morning and tell them the great news.  Tyson was nominated to be the one to tell them.  When he told them we were going to be there on Friday Mighty, with a huge smile and wide eyes said, "Theeees Fridaih?"  Then she gave further confirmation that kids are kids.  She started in -

"Mommy, can you bring me a baby?"
"Mommy, can you bring me clothes and shoes?"
"Mommy, can you bring me a backpack for school?"

It was very comforting and cute.

She then asked to see her room and bed.  Brandie took the laptop around the house showing her each room and her bedroom.  When they showed her bed she said, "I looofe eet!"

We showed them the pictures on the wall and when Brandie showed her the picture of herself Brandie asked, "Who is that?"

She answered, "Eet ees MEEE!!!"

Great way to start a Sunday.  We can't wait to be with them this week and start making memories with them.  It will be wonderful to have them home but this will be a great start welcoming them into our family.

A call, a call - we got a call!!!

We've been waiting five months since our dossier has hit Ghana.  All the waiting, the anxieties, and the emotional nights culminate into one little phone call from Anita - the AAI director.  Well, that call has finally come!!!

I can't tell you exactly what's happened yet until all of the pieces come together, but we're SUPER excited to know that our court date is in the not too distant future.

More to come soon!  We're excited to tell you more as we're able to.

One more tiny stepping stone...

We received a call from Anita who had talked with Joha, who had met with the regional manager of the Volta Region adoptions.  Joha was informed that our application for adoption was the Accra application and not the Volta application....even though they give the same information, this gentleman insisted we fill out a new application and present the case to him once it's been done.

SO, this is just another tiny, little stepping stone to get us to our goal.  My chubby little legs are really getting tired of stepping over ALL of these little stones!

Brandie filled out the application as soon as it arrived, stuffed it back in an envelope and FedEx Overnight'd it back to Anita.  Because it's so expensive to Overnight letters to Ghana (more than $100) Anita wanted to wait for one other family adopting from the Volta Region to return their Volta application before sending ours back.

Would you be shocked if I told you that US Postal Service actually LOST their application?  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  Why is it they never lose all the junk mail that seems to fill my mailbox?  Or how about misplacing all the letters from my Homeowner's Association griping about my kids basketball hoop being in the road?  Yeah, why don't you lose THOSE letters?  But DO NOT lose THIS letter.  That's all we need is one more delay!

All I have to say is, it's a dang good thing I don't drink....cuz me and a porcelain friend would be having a date night right now!

Unbelieveable Experience

Well, I've been a slacker about keeping the blog updated...but in between moving to our new house, baseball season, football season, summer vacations, maintaining two houses and yards there just hasn't seemed to be enough hours in the day.  So, I recommit myself to be a better blogger.  So many great experiences have happened over the last couple months I just don't know where to start.

Let's do this one first - This is going to be the Cliff's Notes version because I don't want this post to be a book...but if you're really interested in the minute details of how this all played out - email me and we'll talk - it really is just another piece of proof of just how involved our Father in Heaven is involved in our seemingly insignificant lives.  On May 26th our good friend Emily who was staying at the orphanage on a service mission called to visit with Brandie.  She said there was something that had been on her mind she had to visit with her about.  Emily had fallen in love with a little girl in the orphanage named "D" and really wanted to bring "D" home with her....but she knew that wasn't the Lord's plan for this little girl.  For whatever reason Emily felt she needed to talk with Brandie about D and her little brother C.

Brandie stewed over this for the next day or so, but she couldn't get our dear friends, the Seables out of her mind.  She was resistant to the promptings since John had told Brandie back in May of last year (in response to her question if they'd ever want to adopt) "Not only NO, but H@LL NO!"  I'm pretty sure he was only 25% kidding!  :-)  

The days went on and Brandie finally worked up the courage to ask John and Jenny out on a date.  After dinner Brandie blurted out what she'd been feeling.  To her amazement J & J were more than open...in fact, they both said they've felt they have been being prepared for this.  What an amazing night! 

Over the next few weeks J & J worked VERY diligently to get all of their paperwork, classes, applications, finances, and family prepared for this life changing experience...the whole time not knowing if these two kids would still be available after all their documentation was submitted.  Luckily for them (and D & C) the Lord had long since planned this whole thing out.

I'm still absolutely astounded that now how blessed we are to have Mighty and Agbesi come to our home, but how blessed they (and we) are all going to be by having two of their very close friends coming home to their forever family and live literally less than 5 blocks away.  I can only imagine what a strength and comfort it will be for these little guys to be able to draw on something familiar while going through a TON of changes.  Just another testimony of how God is in control.  Can we really ever say again, "Wow, that's a coincidence!"  I promise you'll never hear me use those words again.

Part 2 - Fast forward now to the last week of July/first week of August.  We'd decided to take the family on a business/play vacation to Seattle.  We took the kids to see all the cool things of a great Northwest city during the day and I'd work durning the early evening.

Tuesday afternoon we'd received an unnerving email from our good friend Anita, the director of our international adoption agency, AAI.  She shared with us how the director of our kid's orphanage had come to the knowledge that we were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and didn't know if 'he was comfortable releasing these kids' to us.

Now, before I go on, I want to be clear that Brandie and I think the WORLD of the director.  He truly is a man of God who has been blessed with the love of Christ to care for, love, and protect all of his children in his orphanage.  I can completely relate and understand with his feelings of doubt and desire to protect his kids.  It is obvious now (it was anything from obvious Tuesday night) that he was given some mis-information from someone as to the true nature of our faith.  He was basing his thoughts and feelings off those bits of information.

OK, back to Tuesday night.  Brandie and I were SICK!  I was angry, frustrated, and scared all at the same time.  The thought of waiting for over 18 months for these kids and growing to love them and now being faced with the possibility of not being allowed to bring them home because of a misunderstanding weighed heavily on our hearts and mind that night.  Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep that night.

Wednesday came with a million thoughts going through our minds.  Finally, we decided that I should write the director and tell him our true feelings of Jesus Christ and what we believe.  Brandie took the kids to the water park while I stayed back to ponder on what I could possibly tell this man I don't even know that would convince him that 'we're good people'.  Then the thought hit me like a ton of rocks, "I can't convince anyone!  But I know Someone who can!"

I immediately went into the bathroom (the only quite room in the house), knelt and asked Father to help me draft a letter with my true feelings and then allow his Spirit to travel with that letter so that John could feel in his heart what we were feeling.  I knew, through our faith - and God's power - this could absolutely happen.

Long story, short - and not to be too dramatic.  That's exactly what happened.  Anita talked with the director that following week.  He said he'd read the letter and felt in his heart that these were good people and that God was involved with bringing these four children to the same part of the world.

Miracles have not ceased....