Ghana - Day 2 & 3

Ghana Day 2 

We didn’t get back to the room until late last night and when we did finally get in we made some phone calls to home – so the blog post for yesterday didn’t get done.  I’m going to combine day 2 and 3 so I can get caught up.

Saturday morning we headed back to the home for another day of excitement!!  Again we were greeted by all of the children.  It’s hard to believe they’re still excited to see us after spending a whole day with them! :-)

Most of the day is spent sitting in the courtyard watching the kids play, playing with the kids, visiting with others at the home.  I’m amazed at the need of these kids.  They are fed, clothed, bathed twice daily by the home Aunties – but with so many children to tend to there just isn’t enough time in the day to give each the attention they need and want so badly.  Every one of them just wants to be loved and to have a family.  There are two boys in particular that my heart bleeds for – Richard is 10 and Peters is 9.  Both are such sweet boys – so helpful and kind, and both are absolutely hilarious!  Richard today was walking around and I noticed he had a slight limp.  I walked over to him and noticed there wasn’t anything physically wrong with him, but he’d blown out a flip-flop.  They were his only shoes and so he was trying to keep them together as long as he could.  It was hard for me to imagine that something so small, so insignificant to us as a $2 flip-flop was the boy’s only possession in the world that was “his” and no-one else’s.

I called Richard to me and asked him to let me see his shoe.  I thought maybe I could rig it so that he could get a few more miles out of them…but no, it was completely ruined.  I told him, “Richard, would you like new ‘slippers’ (that’s what they call them here)?”  His face brimmed with excitement when I told him we’d go to the market tomorrow and buy him some new ones.  Such a simple thing – but to him it made his day.  Several times throughout the day he’d stop me and ask if I was going to market for him.  One time, right before we left for the night he stopped me and said, “Thank you Daddy.  You’ve been good to me.”  It broke my heart.  This child has no idea what love feels like, but his soul tells him it’s something he longs for.  That’s one promise I will not break!  I’ll be buying flip-flops in the market tomorrow!

About two o’clock in the afternoon I was feeling like a monkey in a very small cage – a man can only take so much grabbing, rubbing, and being climbed on for so long before he starts to go a little crazy!  We decided the four of us were comfortable enough with each other to take our first little adventure.  We decided to go out to First Junction (a crazy intersection with little market stores) to look for a Sprite for the kids (plus, daddy was in serious need of some caffeine).  We took our new friend Dominic (one of the older boys at the home with us) for interpretation, protection, and travel guide…all of which he did quite well.  It was so funny to see the kids at the store.  At the home they were all about getting a Sprite, but when we arrived at the market and stood in front of the glass refrigerator full of Sprite – they suddenly couldn’t make up there minds.  In the end, orange juice won out. 

We’ve noticed some vast differences between these kids and the others at home.  At home, if you have a soda or something ‘special’ it usually takes an act of Congress for that child to share with another sibling.  Here, when the kids arrived back at the home they immediately wanted all their ‘siblings’ to taste the sweet juice.  Agbesi would fill his drink cap full and give a cap full to each of his little buddies – making sure none got more than the other.  Such a great thing about this culture....even though each child has something ‘special’ they’re very willing to the use by another (usually).  :-)

Next we had lunch.  We eat the same meals as the children.  Today it was boiled black-eyed peas with a little ground Cassava on top.  It actually pretty hardy for how small the portions were and the taste was fairly bland.  Some of the American mom’s (I won’t mention names Brandie and Monica!!) decided they’d fake that they’d eaten their whole plates by convincing their little sons to come into the adult eating area and shovel spoonful after spoonful into their little mouths until the plate was clean – I’m not sure who was more pleased, the boys or their mommy.

Right after lunch the little kids are laid down for rest time from 1 to 3.  I’ve quickly realized this ‘rest time’ is not at all for the children…it’s for the adults!!  Very few of the kids actually sleep, but they’re required to stay in their room and be quite.  Today, however, there was one very sneaky little boy who didn’t want to stay in his bed.  Brandie and I were down visiting with the other adults.  Mighty was sitting on my lap.  I was talking when all of the sudden I looked over and saw Agbesi sneaking around the end of the table making headway for his mom (because he knew she is a sucker for those big brown eyes)!  When I asked him what he was doing he just gave me a great big smile as he climbed up onto Brandie’s lap.

That evening was very tough on the kids.  It was the first full day they’d gotten to spend with us and actually feel what love is like.  They were held, hugged, kissed on, and told numerous times how much they were loved by both Brandie and I.  It was obvious it was something they weren’t familiar with, but something they wanted more than anything.  At dark (around 6:30 or 7:00) Agbesi was sitting on my lap in the play area.  His eyes were getting heavy (since the little sneak didn’t have a nap) and before I knew it he was dozing in and out of sleep.  My first reaction was, “I’ve gotta get this kid in his bed so I don’t get pee’d on (like I did the very first day with the very FIRST kid I sat on my lap!).”  But then I thought that this boy has probably never had the opportunity to fall asleep in someone’s arms…so I just sat there hugging and holding until it was bedtime for all the kids (8:00).  At that point we talked with Mighty and Agbesi about how we couldn’t stay at the hotel together until after court…that they would need to sleep there at the home and we would come back first thing in the morning to stay again.  Mighty immediately shut down.  She’s a pouter, so if she doesn’t get what she wants the lip comes out, head goes down, and eyes stay fixed on the floor.  There’s nothing you can say or do to get her to snap out of it.  So Brandie in all of her wisdom said, “Mighty, when you’re ready to talk about it…I’ll be right over there” and then distanced herself.  After a few minutes Mighty slowly came over and told her she didn’t want us to leave…except this time with actual tears.  Agbesi did a little better – he was tired enough that he just laid quietly on my shoulder while I walked him into his room.  As I went to lift him up to his bed and under the mosquito net he started bawling.  I knew he was having the same issues as Mighty so I quietly took him back outside the room.  I told him I PROMISED we’d be back first thing in the morning…and to prove it, I put the bracelet Brody made for me around his ankle and told him I’d be back in the morning to get it.  This seemed to satisfy some of his anxieties and he managed to go to bed.  It was a very tough night on both of us.  Brandie actually had to go lay next to Mighty before she’d stay in bed.  Their little souls long for love so it’s only natural that when they feel it’s warming effects they have a tough time wanting to let go.  In the end, they survived – and actually learned that we really weren’t leaving them and that we’d be back.

Day 3

Today was Sunday.  We were anxious to attend services with the kids and watch how they worship.  It really was a rare treat.  Although their services are quite a bit more lively and loud than the services we’re used to, they were every bit as sincere and full as love for the Savior.  The older boys conducted the services.  They opened with a group prayer followed by several songs that were both known by the kids and some they just taught them today.  I realized today that even though we worship in different ways, that there is a real beauty in the manner these kids sing praises to God.  I know now why I’ve heard some people say “you don’t know heaven until you’ve heard African children sing.”  There is truth in that.  Next Sunday I’ll catch it all on video so I’ll have something to always reflect on.

After church there was a closing announcement.  Pastor John asked the older boys to help him eradicate the rats that have decided to make their home in the kitchen.  Monica and I had seen one the night before poking its head out of the door (that was right before a giant man eating bat swooped down and tried to decapitate Monica – it was really a fruit bat, but it was still as big as a dang house cat!).  The energy level in the house surged as several man-sized boys headed to the kitchen on their big African rate safari!  First came out the stove into the courtyard.  John shook the oven and the rat of the game entered the ring.  I’ve never seen such a rowdy game of field hockey in my life!  Rat after rat came out of the oven and cabinets the boys brought out and each one that came out was quickly introduced into the gauntlet of sticks and feet flying down from every which way.  Even some of the smaller kids joined in on the fun.  We all laughed and laughed…except for the girls (the big girls) who all jumped up on the half wall and screamed!!  It really was a fun site to see.

After the rat circus act came to a close I went and asked Pastor John for permission to take the children with us to the hotel.  As I entered his room I could see something was troubling him.  When I asked what was bothering him he told me he was trying to figure out the food situation.  I probed a little more and realized the home was out of food.  They’d been to market two days ago and spent 280 Cedi (about $200 US) on supplies, but all of that food was now gone – and they had over 45 little hungry mouths that at any moment would start to ask for food.  John had reason to feel troubled.  I realized then what a tremendous amount of stress this man must constantly feel.  What a responsibility to keep food in the bellies of all these sweet children.  Complicating John’s dilemma was all of the current guests at the house that must be fed.  John has some of his family there helping with their newly born baby, there are biological family of the children that were brought down to meet with Social Welfare and haven’t been able to make it home yet, and then there are the American parents staying at the home.  All counted there are currently just over 60 mouths that need fed 3 times a day.  A tremendous load on any person.  I admire John and his ability to manage as well as he does.  But this day the weight was showing.  Luckily I had just that morning grabbed some money from the hotel room.  I asked John if he’d like to go to market to buy food.  Off we went to market.  I REALLY wish I had taken my camera.  It was the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  I felt like I was watching a real-life National Geographic documentary happen right before my eyes!  Hundreds of little stands lined both sides of a little dirt road.  Anything you wanted to buy was there: rice, beans, fresh vegetables, coal, fish, ice cream, cooked foods (like Banku) and about anything else you can think of!  What a cool experience!  I’ll for sure go back with my camera the next time....and of course, I thanked Father that we were able to put food in the bellies of some of His children.

After we returned from the market we went upstairs with some of the kids.  We were visiting with the kids alone in Monica, Kit, and Rachel's room before lunch.  When we left the room Brandie saw Peter standing by the door.  He'd been there for countless minutes listening to the giggling, talking, and 'family time' happening on the other side of the door.  Brandie could see the look in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her leg.  She bent down and gave him a big hug.  While embraced Peter looked at Brandie and said, "Mommy, I want a family."  Brandie said, "You're mommy and daddy are coming soon."  He shook his head, "I have no mommy and daddy."  "I know God will bring you a family soon.  You just need to have faith that a family will come for you soon."  My heart aches for this little man.  He has one of the best personalities in the home and the absolute biggest smile around.  The thought of him standing outside that room listening to the other kids play with there families and wondering if he'll ever have that joy - it tears me apart!  We promised Peter we would pray for his family to come soon.  I know God loves this little boy and will honor the prayers of his children.  Please pray with us that Peter can find a family soon!

Brandie and I decided it would be best to take M & A back to our hotel.  It was such a treat to be alone.  Not because we didn’t want to be around the others, but this was the first time we could concentrate our attention on just these two.  They were so funny to watch as they explored things they’d never seen!  Agbesi had to use the bathroom (make wee-wee as he says).  After he was done he came out and asked for water.  We poured him a glass of bottled water and he turned to head back into the bathroom – just then I realized what he was doing.  I caught him quickly and took him back into the bathroom to show him where the lever on the toilet was and what it did.  He just laughed like it was the coolest thing ever! 

Next they saw the bathtub.  Both of them came out asking if they could bath.  Brandie took them both in and they were both stripped down before she could even get the water running.  Neither of them had ever been in a tub before and it was so fun to watch them play together in the water. Even though Brandie wasn’t IN the tub with them…she still LOOKED like she was after they all came out!

Next were the clothes.  You’d have thought they were having an epileptic spasm the way they ran around the room!  Brandie would give them a shirt and they’d holler, “I luff eet!” or just giggle as they took it over to their pile.  They were so funny to watch as they put on shorts and shirts and sweaters and pajamas and socks……So fun to watch.

Once that mess had been accomplished they were off to the ‘biscuits’ in my special check-on bag.  That’s where I draw the line!!!  I told them I didn’t mind sharing but if they didn’t ask I’d bite off their fingers!  J  Only kidding, I’d really only say that to the kids at home because they wouldn’t actually BELIEVE me!  We’d heard from other parents who’d visited about the kids having this gorging mentality so we made sure not to have a ton of sweets (i.e. candy, etc).  Instead we had jerky, granola bars, fruit snacks, Cliff Bars, and other items that provided at least some nutrients.  It was a hoot to watch them ‘test’ everything first before they committed to eating it.  We quickly found out that Mighty doesn’t like the jerky, grape soda, or fruit rollups.  Her nose quickly wrinkles up to show her disapproval.  Agbesi is a little less discriminating.  He ate a little of everything except for the raisins in the trail mix.

These kids have been hungry for so long its natural for them to want to hoard.  We were leaving the hotel room to meet John and Dominic at the restaurant to eat when I noticed Agbesi headed for the snack bag.  He said, “Daddy, I’m hungry.”  I told him we were headed for dinner and would be eating within minutes.  He still wanted something so I gave him a Cliff Bar and told him to hold it until after dinner.  When I went to put it in his pockets I noticed two other items he’d been storing from earlier.  How truly blessed we are to never have felt the hunger these children have had to deal with!

Dinner was fun as well.  I don’t know if you remember the old 80’s movie Splash with Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks (I think) where she was a mermaid and turns into a human.  Remember the first time he took her out to eat and she didn’t know how to use any of the utensils?  Yeah, well, that’s what tonight was like.  Mighty gave it a valiant effort for about five minutes…until her stomach decided it was time to EAT instead of keep trying.  We all ordered fried rice and chicken, which was really good.  The chicken was cooked over a bar-b que and had a slightly spicy crunchy outside.  The rice was tender and good.  The portions were HUGE (Brandie and I could have shared a plate). Both kids ate until they couldn’t eat any more.  Mighty ate everything on the chicken including the marrow in the bones!

Once again it was difficult to leave them tonight.  Agbesi took it a little harder than Mighty – mainly because Mighty was already 90 percent asleep when John and Dominic dropped us off at the hotel.  Agbesi got real quite and didn’t look up.  He likes being with us and we like having them around too.  It’s hard to see them go back over there…but hopefully it won’t be too much longer and we’ll get to have them with us the whole time.  I know we’re looking forward to it.

Talk with you tomorrow!