The First Week Back at Home

Trying to Make Sense of it All

It's been over a week now since I've left Ghana and my other two kids.  It's been a weird few days.  My initial thought of returning to 'work as usual' after a couple days rest was a nice thought but I realized now that it would take a few more days.  Jet lag is a real deal - especially when it takes you just over a full 24 hours to get home...but this was more than just regular jet lag.

I had left nearly half my family half way across the world without a difinitive plan on when we'll be able to get them home.  Brandie's return flight was scheduled for next Saturday, but with her not feeling well and missing her other four children I didn't think she'd last until then.  We needed to address that issue.  Mighty and Agbesi did realatively well with me leaving, but that was because Brandie was still there.  We were both concerned how they would take it once both of us had left.

Back at home I was trying to concentrate on getting things back at the office revved up again and take care of the many duties of being mom and dad in a family with four very active children.  I had to be mom, dad, cook, cleaner, cheaufer, coach, tudor, and everything else that comes along with being a parent.  This is a skill I've yet to master by myself.  Another reason I missed Brandie.  To say my mind was a little less than focused for the few first days would be an understatement.  I missed my friends and family back in Ghana and honestly had thoughts of how I would rather be back with them again.

The one thing I did do well over the last week was have plenty of time to think about all of the different things that had transpired over the last two weeks.  There was so much happening at so many levels that it was difficult to ponder about everything.  Now however, I've been able to work through last couple of weeks and think about what things I didn't have a chance to write about.

I've had the most difficult time being focused on my life here - it's almost like driving in a very dark night with only one headlight - you can see and drive fine, but you're quite a bit more tentative and probably drive a little slower than usual.  My mind has not been as focused as it was before I left.  I honestly thought most of it was just jet lag and I'd be back to normal in no time.  When Brandie returned it was only a couple days later when she asked me late one night, "Do you feel ok?"  Afterwards we realized that we were both having the exact same feelings.  What was going on?  We honestly didn't know.  I suspected that maybe it was like we'd reached the pinnacle of the mountain and now we were headed back down.  The hike up the mountain is so exhilerating because it's all new: new sites, new trail, first time jitters - the whole thing.  The trip back down, however can't be as exciting - you've done everything, seen everything, and are now just trudging along step after step.  Is that what we are going through?  Had we put so much emphasis on getting over to Ghana to meet the kids for the first time that now we're experiencing 'after meeting depression'?

There is another thought.  What if our hearts were made whole by being over there with the rest of our children and now...now that we're back in the States our hearts know there is a void.  Doesn't that make more sense?  It does to me.  To me, this is just another confirmation from a loving Father in heaven that what we're doing has been concecrated by Him.  We've had so many amazing experiences with Him, by Him, and through Him during the last two years getting us to this point - doesn't it seem appropriate that this vacancy of feeling we're having in our hearts confirm our family is complete - but only legally, not physically under one roof?  Otherwise, if it wasn't like this, wouldn't our return home feel like every other 'vacation' we've ever had?  You know, take a couple days to rest before heading neck-deep back into life and within a couple of days everything is back to normal.  No, this is way different than just any other 'vacation' we've ever taken.  I wish I had a remedy to the pain and void, but I suppose the only medicine that will cure that which ales us will be the reunion with our full family.

We've talked with the kids a couple of times since we've been home.  Emily told us the kids were so cute when Monica was finally able to go home last Friday.  She said Monica's three kids had a terrible time with her leaving.  Of course they were crying and wondering if she'd really return for them.  Emily said Mighty and Agbesi walked over to the three kids, hugged them, and told them their mommy would return for them.  I wish I would have been there to see that process transpire.  When I talked with Mighty she asked me how many more days until we came back to get them.  I assured her we would come and get her just as soon as the men in charge would allow us to come.  That wasn't the answer she was looking for.  I told her to remember that every day she woke up was one more day closer to us coming to get her.  That seemed to lighten her mood.

So Where Are We in the Process Now?

We've had a fair number of people ask us "Where are you in the process now?"  Since we've completed court and Brandie was able file the I-600 with the US Embassy we're now completely waiting on the US Customs and Immigration Services.  Once our I-600 is approved (usually within 30 days) we'll be waiting for the kid's US visas to be approved.  Again, this process (we're told) can take up to 60 days.  So, all in all we're hoping to have the kids home before Thanksgiving, but we're guessing it'll actually be closer to Christmas.