Ghana - Day 10

Ghana – Day 10

Today is Sunday – a day I enjoy here in Ghana.  There are so many good religious people who only wear their best African dresses.  I love the ride from the hotel to the home along the main road.  There are many people out walking to church and market, many of them proudly holding their Bibles.  There are so many colors and patterns of robes, which make the side of the road look like a giant, colorful kaleidoscope.  Ghana is a country that is very tolerant of one’s religion.  The most popular religion is Christianity followed by Muslim and tribal beliefs.  There are huge churches, which have been a labor of love for the parishioners over the last years – hand building little by little as they’ve had the money.  Sunday mornings you can hear the different church’s music and singing from many blocks away as the members praise God for their blessings.  Although their form of worship is much different than what we are used to at home, it is pleasing to my soul to hear them rejoicing and witness their smiling faces and humbling faith.  I feel blessed to be able to take part of this day’s activities.

Church at the home is supposed to start at 9:00 but this morning the children’s baths were taking a little longer than usual so we didn’t get started until around 9:30.  The services start with one of the older boys directing the group with an invocation – giving thanks to our God for the blessings of their lives.  Next, one of the older boys leads all of the children in songs.  Last week Dominic taught the group a new song – which we found out later tonight was a song he’d written specifically for the children.  I’m very impressed with their musical and creative abilities.  The children sing and dance for about a half hour until Pastor John comes in to teach his sermon.  Today Pastor John was in rare form.  He came into the parlor with one of the girl’s hair bows on and before long he was in front of the congregation playing the electric piano.  Only, most normal people would only use one or maybe two hands to play the piano – but today, John  - being a little crazed from too much sugar at breakfast maybe decided to start playing the piano with both hands AND both feet.  Everyone laughed and enjoyed watching the father of the house have fun with the children. John really is a man I continue to respect more and more as the days pass.

As the singing wound down the pulpit was passed to John for his teachings.  I had a little feeling that I was in trouble.  Maybe it was the little twinkle in his eye as he started or maybe it was the sideways smirk he gave me as he looked my way, but I knew he had something up his sleeve.  The message was on mockery – how one can mock outwardly or in one’s heart – both are an abomination to God.  He started reading in 2^nd Kings where some children were teasing Elisha because he was bald….and off we went!  It was quite funny and all of the adults ‘got’ his inside joke toward me while the children listened intently to what father John was teaching.  The message – despite it’s little innuendos – was very well delivered so that all of the children understood exactly what he was teaching.  After the services he came up and gave me a big hug and we both laughed.  I told him, "I do not like you!"

Last night and again today both of the kids have asked to talk with Grandma and Grandpa.  Their both trying to figure out the concept of what G & G is since they really don't have that here.  They're accustomed to every adult in the village being mommy or daddy, so the concept of a G & G is a little foreign to them, but they like it.  Also, they've both watched videos on the iPad of G & G with their brothers and sister.  One of their favorites is one of Tyson getting to scoop out of the money jar.  Today M & A were adimate about talking with their grandparents.  After lunch we went to a quite area and called G & G on skype so they could talk for a brief moment.  It was fun to watch them interact.  Brandie was a little put out (not really) that both kids talked more with G & G than any of the times they'd talked with us!  :-)  The connection was really terrible so they only got to talk for a couple of brief minutes before we were tired of fighting it.  Another time.  I think it was the highlight of both kid's day.

Brandie had fallen ill last night with stomach pains and cramps so this morning it was all she could do to sit through services.  She went to Kitt’s bedroom afterwards to lie down for a short time as the children ate their lunch.  She really just wanted to head back to the hotel and relax to see if this would pass.  Once the children were finished with their lunch we loaded them up and brought them back to the hotel for the afternoon.

It is interesting how the children continue to test their boundaries with their new mommy and daddy.  Today at the hotel A decided he was going to see how far he could push mommy.  There was something up on top of the bureau in the room that he wanted.  The bureau is not attached to the wall and so we were nervous about it falling over on him as he climbed like a little monkey trying to get what he wanted.  Brandie had repeatedly told him “no” and repeatedly he would stop for a couple minutes and then immediately go back to try and climb again.  I started to step in (since just like at home the children respond more quickly to dad’s voice than mom’s) and Brandie stopped me.  She said she’d started this and she needed to finish it so A would understand where his place was with her.  I’m continually amazed at how well Brandie is in tune with these things.

I sat back and watched her work with A.  Much to her chagrin, he had a different result in his mind than what Brandie did.  One last time he tried to climb the bureau.  Brandie quickly stood up, grabbed him, chewed him out, and sat him down on the bed.  He went into his pouting mode – but this time it was much different than it was in the past.  This time – he would look at and communicate with me – not with his words, but with his eyes or a head nod.  He was not pleased with mommy, but he wasn’t completely shut down.  I considered this good progress as we’ve told the children it’s OK to be upset, angry, or sad – but they must at least let us know their feelings and not just shut down.  Today, A was clearly not happy, but at least he was letting us know his thoughts…

Monica had decided to get a room at the hotel last night.  She needed the break from the home and wanted to have a place to bring her children to where they could have some alone time.  This afternoon she returned to the hotel with her three children as well.  Her middle daughter came into our room and was talking with A.  M immediately glared at her and verbally attacked her without any cause or reason.  Brandie told M she was not to speak like that and in the hotel she was now only allowed to speak English so we could understand what she was saying.  This did not please her and she (M) shut down and wouldn’t talk. 

I tried to approach her but she wanted nothing to do with me. In fact, the more I tried to visit with her or console her the more she would cry and move away.  We let her sit alone for 5 minutes or so and then Brandie went over and talked with her.  She wouldn’t talk with Brandie at this point, but she wasn’t moving away and she quit crying.  Brandie quietly talked with her – I couldn’t hear what she was saying – but it was clear that M was listening to her.  Later I asked Brandie what she talked with her about.  She said she’d gone through the spectrum of feelings M might be having and told her it was OK to feel these ways.  Brandie continued with her saying if she felt ‘this way’ then ‘that’ is what we need to do, if she felt ‘that way’ then ‘this’ is what it means.  Slowly, M opened up to Brandie and they were able to work M out of her ‘social coma’ and back into her normal self.  I was very encouraged with how Brandie handled the situation and even more encouraged that M was open to trusting her mommy and them working together to get her to calm down.  It was a very good thing.

Brandie and M sat and played a new game to M – Slap Jack.  It was fun to watch them slap and giggle as the cards slowly turned over.  M quickly understood the rules of the game and was competing very well with Brandie.  Before long, it was 4:45 and time for us to head back to the home.  We’ve wanted to keep the kids on their feeding schedule as much as possible.  We’ve also tried not to take them out to eat as much.  We realize by doing so they may have a more difficult time transitioning back into the home when we leave.  Additionally, it was costing me a fair amount and they weren’t eating all of their food.  They wanted to save it and we now have more leftover food in our fridge than water!  Heaven knows I’ve had enough rice this trip to last me the rest of my life – so you can be assured I will not be eating those leftovers!

Brandie was still not feeling well and just wanted to rest.  I offered to take the children home while she stayed at the hotel.  I told her I wouldn’t be long and would wait for the children to start eating and then I’d return.

Back at the home I asked big Richard to give me a haircut.  I was getting a little shaggy plus it’s fun to watch the older boys beam when they have something to offer.  He brought out a chair under the mango tree and went into the house to gather his tools.  They don’t have scissors here – they have no need.  The way they cut the boys hair is by taking a strait edge razor and laying it flat against the top edge of a comb.  Then they ‘comb’ the hair as the razor cuts the longer hairs that come up through the comb.  Brandie and Monica sat and took several pictures of me getting my haircut and many of the children rushed over to watch and giggle.  I’m sure they’ve never seen a daddy get his hair cut by one of the boys before.  I was honored to be the first and have this experience with one of my new best buddies – Richard.  Once he was done and made sure that I had thoroughly inspected his work in the mirror he allowed me to stand up.  I reached into my pocket and handed him 5 Cedi.  At first he refused – but I told him I’d be offended if he did not take it.  I would have to pay a barber and he did a fine job.  His time was worth money to me.  Another smile I won’t soon forget.

Around 6:00 the children’s meal was served – rice, beans, and shito.  Once the children started eating I went in to say good night to our two.  Both of them have become very accepting to us leaving and returning the next day.  They both ran up and gave me a hug and a kiss.  Both of them said they’d talk with me tomorrow and rushed back in to eat their dinner.  No tears, no drama.

Today was a good day.  We had a couple of bumps along the road today, but the bumps were progress over the days before.  We certainly don’t expect to have a perfect road ahead of us.  As parents, we’d be foolish to think that’s how any of our children’s lives would be.  We know we’ll have challenges – but as long as we’re seeing progress then we’ll be pleased.

Until tomorrow….

OH, and one more thing….Pastor John, if you’re reading this – you’d better start sleeping with one eye open!!  I’m going to bring my bald head and shaved arms over there and unleash a fury on you like you’ve never seen before.  Be afraid!  Be very afraid!!!  Pay back will be 1,000 fold!! :-)